Crazy competitive

Fact: I am crazy competitive.

I don't know if it's good or bad. I don't want to be outdone. I want to be the one who's always the best. Sometimes, I find my teeth clenched as I am cooking up ways and devising schemes to get better at whatever I set myself to achieve.

I am a self-taught cake decorator, and I haven't been doing it for a very long time. However, in the less than two years that I've focused on it, I believe I've done so much on my own already. But I am not satisfied. I am not yet as good as I would like to be.

I am restless when I get into this state of mind. Sometimes, I become too consumed with what I want to achieve that it is all that fills my mind whether I am asleep or awake. I am fired up to just do my very best. I know that I won't rest until I perfect my craft. I look at the works of some of the best cake decorators I know, and I think to myself "I can do better. I need to do better."

I am crazy competitive. In my head, the competition with all these other clueless cake decorators has begun. I am very sorry, but I find you guys too good. I want to be just like you...or way better than you.